Kitchen and Closet Organizing Disaster

Okay, so you would think that organizing your kitchen and organizing a closet is no big deal right?  Well, for most people, maybe it's not a big deal.  For me it caused a near melt down.  I'm not even really sure if it was Monday or Tuesday, this week has been a little bit crazy.  So let's start with what happened in the kitchen...I needed to organize my silverware drawer, my cooking utensil drawer, tupperware drawer, and my vinegar and oil/junk cabinet.  Well, let me just tell you what was lurking in there...glasses that I had kept of Rob's grandma's, my grandma's (who was killed in a car accident in 2006) cookie cutters, the kids baby spoons, various oil and vinegars from various failed diets, and junk, junk, junk, and a little more junk.  I decided that since we have lived here 2 years and never used Rob's grandma's glasses, very fancy glasses, that it was time to part with these, they were taking up two shelves in a room where I have very little real estate...and that is hard.  It is hard to part with something that meant something to you.  It hurts to get rid of a little piece of them and it hurts to remember them.  And this was a woman I had only known since 2003.  My grandma's cookie cutters stirred emotions in me that were like a knife in my heart.  Growing up my grandma made cookies for every holiday and I miss her.  I miss her every holiday and everytime I read her bible and everytime I see something of hers, I miss her and it hurts.  It hurts just as much now as it did then. She was such a HUGE part of my life.  And it is hard to get of baby spoons, when they were your babies spoons, its hard to process that they no longer need baby spoons, and it's hard knowing that these babies are the last babies you will have.  And oh, my the old vinegars and oils.  Well, they may as well slapped me in the face and said, yeah, you're not going to lose anymore weight, and look at how much money you wasted on us. Same goes for the junk, why in the world did I buy or keep all this junk. It's hard to face sometimes, all these emotions that can come up when we really dig in and start trying to clean up and organize things.  I think this is a huge reason people or at least people like me put things like this off.  Getting rid of things is hard.  Seeing how you let something get so messy is hard.  Admitting failures and moving on is easier said than done.  And all of this from cleaning a few cabinets in the kitchen.  I swear, I almost felt like someone on the show hoarders...I wanted to go stomping out of the house screaming, I can't do it.  Just leave my stuff alone.  It's my stuff.  But thankfully, I kept it together.  In the closet I was greeted by old clothes that are still too small to wear, trinkets bought as souvenirs that never left the closet, Sydney's baby things, leftover Arbonne from when I thought it was a great idea to sell it, and a general mess.  It's just a huge struggle to get slapped in the face with so many failures in such a small little space.  It took everything I had to get through cleaning these two areas of my home.  But now it is done, and I feel so much better.  I feel like I processed through the emotions of all of this and have a new commitment to losing that weight.  I will so wear those shorts from my skinny days again.  I will make better decisions on everything I buy.  I don't want to be back here in five years wondering why I ever accumulated so much junk and wasted so much money.  Facing your fears and failures head on really does make you a stronger person and that's the life lesson I received this week while doing a seemingly mindless task.   It's amazing how writing a blog makes you process things differently.